The Ghosts of My Life
by Satan's Army
Summary: Bella is widowed and lost her one true love and fears her life will never go on, but little does she know her dead husband will do anything he can to show her she's not alone. Will he be able to reach her? Review
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey People!!  
So this story is harsh...and by harsh i mean really really depressing :'( But i really really really wanted to write it. And it may SEEM like it is gonna be a one shot, but it's not, so bear with me :)  
This story is going to be based off of the song "Just A Dream" By Carrie Underwood, it's a very good song, sad, but good.  
Just so you know, I'n NOT giving up on Never Cry (my other story) I'm probably going to be continuing it in the summer though, because right now I'm packed with school, plus i wanted to write this story, AND I'm writing ANOTHER story as well on my own, AND ANOTHER story with my friend at school that we are going to be getting started on soon, when we do write it and post it, make sure you review on her profile too por favor!!!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. (it WILL develop into more after this chappie!!) I don't own the song "Just A Dream" by Carrie Underwood either. 

**I'm dedicating this to a very close friend that has always been like a second mom to me. I love you Mrs. Maslyn, thank you for always being there for me, I promise to be there for you always as well.**

Rain was pelting down my back like…bullets.

I didn't feel it.

My tears were blending with the rain, carving trails down my face.

I wore nothing but a nightgown and a trench coat above it, and even though the rain and wind were freezing cold, as I neared the cemetery all I could feel was the pain in my chest trying to burn me alive.

I couldn't breathe.

Gasping I let the coat fall from my shoulders into the mud at my bare feet. I keeled over in pain, clutching my chest and trying to hold myself together.

Like that was possible.

I was trembling so hard that everything was a blur….more so than usual. _You left me, now I'll never see life clearly again. I saw it through your eyes, beautiful….I just looked at your eyes…so __**beautiful**__…_

I choked on every breath. You took that from me the first day I saw you.

_-Flashback-_

"_Hello…umm…Mr…Banner…? Hi, I'm new here, Isabella Swan." I said it like a question._

"_Ah, yes…Isabella!" He smiled kindly, a little_ too_ kindly maybe. I internally cringed. "We've been so eager for your arrival!" Yep, definitely too friendly, "Why don't you take the empty seat next to Mr. Cullen over there? He's not here yet but that's just because he had to stop at the office before class today. I was studying your records earlier" CREEPER! "…and I discovered you were placed in all of the advanced classes back in your old school in Phoenix! You can imagine just how thrilled I was to find out a student like you were coming here..." I tuned out his ramblings for a full five minutes and just thought about who my mystery partner would be when then door to the Biology class opened. Standing there was Adonis himself. Understand, I've never really had a crush on anyone before, and most definitely never dated anyone. I still was hearing Mr. Banner's voice buzzing in my ears somewhere in my mind, but I didn't allow my brain to register the noises. I was too focused on this boy-no-man in front of me. _

_I was also focusing partially on not drooling…_

_I saw his mouth move, forming words, and the next thing I knew I was entranced in the sounds of his beautiful voice, not really caring what the words were saying, seeing as you were directing them at the slightly aggravated teacher behind me. The next second though his emerald green eyes were focused on my plain brown ones. I felt like he was peeling me to layers with that stare; learning everything that there was to know about me. _

_And I couldn't look away._

_I was subconsciously aware that the entire class was watching our little spectacle and I could hear the childish giggles of a few of the girls, while the rest were sneering at my supposed "stupidity" and my unfashionable clothing. _

_His eyes never released mine._

_I think Mr. Banner had finally had enough and so he cleared his throat rather loudly, bringing me out of my haze, and the class to attention. _

_I blushed beet red now that I was fully aware of all the eyes on me. _

"_Isabella," Mr. Banner said; his tone was slightly husky, what the hell? "…please take your seat now." The 'Cullen' boy, (I didn't know his name yet), walked right up to me and I held my breath, not daring to move an inch. His strong, yet soft pale fingers caressed my forearm. Upon contact, I felt a jolt of electricity warm my body, and as strange as it felt, I internally prayed he'd never let go just so I could continue felling this warmth._

_I could've sworn I hear him growl at the teacher. What the _hell?!

_This school was definitely weird, but looking at his perfect angled features and his casual disarray of copper-red hair, I couldn't help but be happy of that fact. _

_He flashed a crooked smile and led me to our seats in the back row of the room. I swear this boy was trying to kill me, that crooked smile made my heart soar to cloud nine and never came down!_

_-End Flashback-_

You always were the charmer, and your crooked smile was enough to have me incapacitated most days. Actually I believe the term "falling for you" came quite literally for my klutzy feet and I. The corner of my mouth twitched, I almost smiled when I thought about all of the times you would be nowhere in sight, but you were always there to catch me. However, thinking of these memories was a big mistake. A whole new wave of pain started to come over me.

Hunched over in pain, my knees hit the dirt splashing mud astray. I screamed out in agony, and the noise echoed in my ears, in my head, down my spine.

I was alone.

Totally and completely…alone.

_You said you would be here forever, you promised never to leave me!_

Anger and anguish flowed through my veins.

_I told you not to go. I told you I couldn't live without you if you left me._

And I can't.

"Do you call this living?!" I wailed!

Lightning flashed above me. My eyes dilated rapidly from the sudden light. I wished more than anything for it to just strike me dead, so I could be with _him_ again.

I fisted the dirt in my palms, letting it mold to my grasp. In front of me the flowers I had placed there yesterday were drowned out in the downpour. The tombstone was almost black from the rain. I didn't need to read it to know what it said; for I had memorized it from the first time I first saw it.

_EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN_

_-HUSBAND, "BROTHER," "SON," and FRIEND-_

_1981-2009_

_WAR HERO_

_DEATH WILL NEVER SEPRATE US, LOVE IS ETERNAL_

_R.I.P._

I hugged the cold stone close to my chest, trying to warm it, just as I had desperately tried to warm your cold body when they brought you to me.

_-Flashback-_

_The laundry bell chimed._

_The hot water kettle was whistling._

_The dog was scratching at the door, needing to go out._

_I tripped on the celery stalk that I dropped on the floor a few minutes ago; I had forgotten it was there…_

_Bustling around like a mad women I tried to keep the house in order, doing all the jobs that I possibly could._

_I didn't want spare time, that was something I desperately needed to avoid. So instead I preferred always doing little unnecessary tasks that in a normal household would be put-off until later. For example scrubbing the place between the fridge and the wall…_

_I left the laundry to wait a little bit while I turned off the stove and let the dog out. _

_I'm sure right now you are expecting me to be some OCD wife, but the truth is, I wasn't; I was just trying to get my head off the topic that my husband was away in Iraq fighting in the war effort far away from home and could get kil—NO! I couldn't think about that; I promised myself I wouldn't. He promised me he would be fine. He wouldn't leave me, of that I was positive…he knew I couldn't survive without him…_

_I scrubbed an already-clean dish two times harder._

_Just as I was drying my hand with the kitchen towel, I heard the doorbell ring. Not even checking my appearance that was probably a catastrophe, I made my way to the foyer to open the front door. _

_The first thing I noticed was the little black car on the curb next to my driveway. In front of me stood a man in a military uniform. His face was solemn. The hectic smile I had plastered on my face before opening the door was replaced with shock and confusion. With a grimace he uncovered an envelope from his coat and took my hand. He dutifully placed the little black envelope in my open palm then closed my fingers around it. _

_I wasn't confused anymore._

_I crumpled in on myself, bringing him down to the cement of the porch with me. Jake; my dog, my _intuitive_ dog at that must of known something was wrong, because I felt his fur frantically try to warm my dead heart and his whine in my ears. My breathing was coming in gasps and I was overcome with vertigo. The man was trying hopelessly to calm me and get Jake away, but I clutched Jake with my life, for all that was left of it. _

_I couldn't stop thinking...He's gone…he's dead…Edward…My love…_Dead_…_

_The last thing I remembered was the laundry bell chime again. That's when I blacked out._

_-End Flashback-_

I couldn't even bring myself to think farther than that. I've been inconsolable since his death, the only way I ever talk is when I'm here…talking to _him!_

And it's been a week since his death that I've been silent. I don't know if I can bring myself to talk again…or live…

Hugging my chest instead, trying to hold myself together, I sat up in the mud. Raising my face to the sky, letting the icy shards sting my cheeks, I choked back a sob and whispered to the night, "Why did you leave me Edward?"

* * *

EPOV: (Shocker right?!?

Looking down at my angel in pain broke my dead heart. I was a monster for leaving her, even if I never intended to. From up in the clouds, trapped by my death I whispered in a comforting voice to her crumpled figure, "Don't worry, I will do whatever it takes to come back to you, and I'll never leave you again. I'm sorry, my beautiful angel. I love you, and I _will_ be with you again…"

* * *

**A/N: Did you hate it? Like it? Love (pfft) it? I know it's short...REALLY short...sorrryyyy about that...**

Should I continue? Please Review, I love feedback!! :) (and ideas...how will edward do what he wants to? i have an idea...and i think it's okay...but i think it could be better...)

And if you havn't read my other story "Never Cry" please do!! :)  
**  
Ill update when I can if you want this story to continue.**

I love you all sooo much!!!!

~Satan :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys!**

**Okay so this is chappie #2 of this story and i just want to make this point clear: any religious beliefs in this story are not my real views and i don't want anyone to be insulted by them or anything. They just make the story easier to write...thank you!**

**I know this is really short...REALLY short...so i apologize with all my heart **

**anyway...read on and enjoy!!!**

**Disclaimer: yeah...you know how it goes... :P**

EPOV:

I remember when I used to be among the living, there never was a day where I wouldn't hear someone say, _"Hey, life isn't fair" _or _"Life's never easy," _or the more bitter ones among the military officials would spit in my face_, "Suck it up rookie! And be glad yeh still gots both of them arms!"_ Of course, one particular man had no class once-o-ever and followed by waving his stump of an arm threateningly in my face…seeing as it hadn't been bandaged yet that morning, I had to resist the urge to gag…

But never do you hear a living person say, _"Hey! Being dead isn't so fair either!" _and you know why? Well…they wouldn't know would they?! Because…they are, well…living!

Unfortunately, however, I know _exactly_ what it's like to be dead, and it sure was a smack in the face for me! I've been a Catholic my entire life (Yes, even while I was fighting in Iraq) so when I got shot in the back and killed, just to wake up a few minutes later above my body while there was chaos still in progress, I realized that there wasn't some Heaven, or Hell for the dead to retreat to. No, we still had more to suffer on this Earth. I had to watch my fellow soldiers struggle with the loss of my help and see them drop one by one around me, just to watch them wake up as I did above their broken bodies. I knew subconsciously that I would be able to talk with these particular soldiers, but it was blatantly obvious that we were all too shocked to speak.

As a…well, what the living would call "ghost," I returned back to where I wanted to be most, I didn't have to take an airplane, or walk or any of that kind of normal transportation, I just thought really hard about the one person in life I loved—and still do love, with all of my soul.

Then there I was, back with my Bella.

Watching her go from shocked, to devastated, to falling apart in every way, then becoming the zombie she did crushed me on so many levels. My sobs were thunderous and broken and echoing all around us, creating thunder, lightning, and pouring rainstorms…it was a wonder that my Bella could not hear me right beside her the entire time, or feel my presence at the very least…or did she?

Later on, I realized I could "fly."

At least I called it flying, when really it was more like dive-bombing…

Among us ghosts, we often felt very lonely so therefore we had a lot of hurt and pain to deal with…this 'dive-bombing' was our…release.

Like I said before, we could think about a place we really wanted to be, then we would open our eyes and we'd be there. So we would think _really _hard to be eh…let's say one hundred miles up in the air, then we could fall back to Earth as if we still were affected by normal gravity just to pull up at the very last moment and continue flying around.

I know what you're thinking, being a "ghost" is _sooo_ complicated!

But seriously! It is! I still haven't figured out why we can still be affected by gravity when we want to then _not _sometime later!

Hey…wait a minute…

Maybe…just _maybe…_ us "ghosts" are a little more than the average assumption of what a ghost would be…

Maybe we are something else…

Something different…

Something _powerful_…

Something that has that _power_ to be with my Bella again…

Maybe?

_Maybe._

I smiled. Something I had not done in a very long time.

BPOV:

Jake hadn't tried ripping up the sofa in exactly 2 weeks, 14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 minutes, or 1,209,600 seconds…he knew something was wrong with me, with our family, with my broken heart—he wouldn't leave my side now. He was my crutch.

I hadn't gone back to my job at the psychiatric institution in exactly 2 weeks, 14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 minutes, or 1,209,600 seconds. I should hope I don't get the sack, but honestly, I don't really care about anything anymore…

(Isn't it amazing how people who works and diagnoses other people with problems in the mind may be finding themself slowly losing their own sanity?)

I hadn't listened to a single note of music in 2 weeks, 14 days…eh screw it you get the point! I had ripped out the radio in my car that…_he_ had given to me one Christmas. It was shiny and expensive and…well, oddly out of place to say the least when in contrast with the 1959 old red Chevy truck it was held in. I could practically hear his voice in my ear sighing in disappointment and loss as my fingers gnawed at the obstructive piece of machinery.

EPOV: **(A/N: Real short & Quick Eddie POV!)**

Ugh! I really hated that truck! But she would never let me replace it! I swear, its broken down in the middle of the highway before because I tried pushing 60! (Never again did I offer to get groceries while my Volvo was at the dealer's!)

I couldn't help but sigh in disappointment at the loss of the one thing that Bella had consented to me updating in that monster of a vehicle…plus seeing her mutilate her fingers from prying the thing out with her nails was one of the biggest horrors I've ever witnessed.

Ha! Can you imagine the irony of the situation if Bella began to hear my voice but simply thought she was going crazy…? That would be weeeirrrddd…

Heyyyy…

_Heyyyy…_

_I wonder… _

**Okay, that's chappie #2 ppl!!!**

**Like? Love (:P)? Hate?**

**Tell me please!**

**I accept any criticism with OX'es!!**

**With Love,**

**~Satan**


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